Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Naked Romance

Last Friday night sitting with friends at Kaufmann’s as our conversations sometimes do it took a sharp turn off of normal. Someone brought up the impending ‘doom’ of Valentine’s Day when one of my male friends stated “Just once I would love to be able to start a letter on February 15 with ‘Dear Penthouse’.” Quickly one of my girlfriends chimed in, “Yeah well I am still waiting for Richard Gere to come carry me away.” Two simple statements explained it all; the great what is love/romance divide between the sexes. Men long for the Penthouse and/or Maximum moment while women long for the classic love scene in an eighties chick flick. The problem, everyday romance sits in the middle, centered between exciting and downright dull.

In the eighties we (women/girls) were wishing someone like Patrick Swayze would go “Dirty Dancing” with us. At night we would dream of some amazingly hot guy kissing us passionately in the rain the same way John Cusack kissed Ione Skye in "Say Anything". We went to sleep with our bedroom windows open hoping to be awaken by the sweet serenade of “In Your Eyes." Guys on the other hand were watching "Weird Science" hoping Kelly LeBrock would “pop” into chemistry class, their bathroom, anywhere. They often wondered why no girl in high school who looked anything remotely like Phoebe Cates ever dropped their bikini top for them. While we were hitting the rewind button on the volley ball scene in "Top Gun", guys were turning their heads sideways trying to get any kind of sneak peak of the women behind the scrambled images of the Playboy channel or rummaging through their father’s hidden magazine stash. A woman wants or needs hours of romance, a guy thirty seconds of the 'right visual' and he is good.

Through our favorite films women are taught romance is all about seduction, a man willing to go to any lengths to demonstrate his undying love. We longed for our own “Officer and a Gentleman” to come rescue us from our everyday life. This could explain why every Valentine’s Day we dream of the perfect candlelit dinner, beautiful music and sweet nothings whispered in our ear, hoping for one night of 'Hollywood' romance.

For men the fantasy of romance is to get naked, naked, naked or as close to naked as they can safely get their woman without being killed. Perky boobs and butt are an added bonus but not necessary! Any kind of naked is good! I believe most men dream of walking in the door on Valentine’s Day to find their wife or significant other waiting for them in nothing but an apron seductively whispering, “Hello dear how may I help you?"

Maybe to help ease the divide of romance between the sexes we women need to think more like men, adjust our fantasies a bit. Let me see.... Tatum Channing standing outside my bedroom window no shirt, jeans slightly unzipped in the rain holding a boom box playing my favorite love song. When I look out at him, he smiles, says, “Happy Valentine’s Day. What can I do to make you smile?” And yes there would be a guarantee, we would definitely be getting naked, naked, naked. I think I may actually like that!!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!


  1. Very nice blog! Cocktails with little straws, the latest edition of the Urban Dictionary, and
    good friends = good times at Kaufman’s.

  2. You definitely have that correct!! I always leave with a huge smile, from all the laughter we share!! Oh but let's not forget the carrot cake and french fries!!