Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Never Going to be a Girly Girl

I am not sure why but lately I have been noticing the women my age who are perfectly coiffed. They always seem to have exquisite make-up, impeccable hair, classic clothes, polished nails, the look finished of course with fabulous heels. Sunday at my nephew's graduation I marveled at all the woman who looked like they just stepped out of a Nordstrom's catalogue. Bumped up/styled hair sprayed into place, lipstick, beautiful dress, pearls, earrings, matching heels and purse. I didn't even remember to put on a necklace. I would love to be that pulled together, polished, very lady like in appearance. To have the look that leaves men weak in the knees. As I stood in awe of their femininity I came to the realization no matter how hard I tried or wanted, I would never be a girly girl. I am not dainty or refined, it is just not me.

I am what you would call a no frills kind of gal. I own a blow dryer, I may have used it three times last year. I never use hairspray or mousse, don’t own any. I understand hair care products are meant to keep my hair under control and in place. I can't even get my life under control, so why do I want my hair to be one up on me? I love my long hair, pull it up in a ponytail or let it hang loose and wild. If we are out and about, don’t ask to borrow a brush or comb, you will be out of luck, I don’t carry one in my purse. Why carry a brush, when I can just as easily fluff/fix my hair with my fingers. I drive a convertible, even in the winter I have been known to drop the top down. Nothing more freeing than having the sun shine on my face and the wind blowing through my hair. When I arrive at my destination, I remove my ponytail holder, shake my hair/head, fluff my hair with my fingers and go...no mirror or brush necessary. Windblown hair is a great look…wild and untamed! Just like I can be at times.

I don't use moisturizers, cleansing masks, anti wrinkle creams...I wash my face with soap and water. I own one tube of lipstick, can’t even tell you the shade, I never seem to remember to apply it. I consider myself lucky when I remember to apply chap stick in the winter. I took a make-up lesson once, she tried so hard to teach me the "tricks of the trade", I failed. As soon as I left the salon I couldn't remember which brush was for blending, which brush was for application. I do own many different shades and types of eye shadow. They look really pretty in the drawer. I tried once to give myself the "smoky" eye look, instead I got the black eye look. After that I determined neutrals and browns seem to be a much safer choice for this make-up dysfunctional person. I don't wax my eyebrows. I tried it, didn’t like the look on me. Maybe my eyebrows were too thin, too “polished”, the problem was every time I looked in the mirror I didn't see me. My theory, God gave me my eyebrows I have, so they must be perfect for me. It’s not that I don’t care what I look like, I just need to be comfortable in my own skin.

I don't sleep in satin and silk, cotton is the fabric of choice. Sexy to me is an oversized man's t-shirt or nothing at all. Many years ago I purchased a beautiful silk negligee. I admit when I first put it on I felt very sexy. Then every time I rolled over or turned in bed I "fell" out of the negligee. Instead of sleeping, I spent most of the night waking and “tucking” myself back in. Apparently a D-cup is not a good match for skimpy. Since I desire comfort when I sleep the negligee was banished to the back of the drawer and eventually donated to the church thrift shop. Hopefully the old ladies unpacking the donation box didn’t have heart failure when they found it and the negligee has since found a good home.

I live in denim and cotton. Don’t get me wrong, I have some killer clothes for special occasions. I can dress with the best of them, wow you, knock your socks off, just not on a daily basis. Knock on my door in the summer, I will answer in shorts, t-shirt and flip flops. In the winter, jeans, long sleeve t-shirt and flats…okay who am I kidding I will be wearing really warm slippers!! When I go out with friends I love to wear casual skirts with flats. Me and heels don’t mix. I have tried on numerous occasions to buy/wear heels, all with the same outcome. Kathryn’s closet gains another pair of shoes!! When I show up at work, wearing my one pair of black pumps, the betting pool soon commences. Everyone guessing how long the pumps will stay on my feet before I kick them off and replace them with flats. I believe the record this year was set at Movie Mayhem, I wore my pumps just shy of two hours. Those who know me may find this hard to believe, I have actually lasted longer in heels. I was proud of myself when I attended a formal event and kept my heels on the entire time. 8 long hours… Okay so technically when I was sitting at the table I kicked the heels off, but no one could see so that doesn’t really count in my book. The next day I presented said heels to my daughter and told her I never wanted to see them again. I think my feet are still recovering from that night!!

I do one girly thing, I get a manicure and pedicure every two weeks. If my nail breaks I don’t rush back to the salon to have it fixed, it’s just a nail. So maybe I don’t get as many girly points as I would like??

I love getting wet, don't mind getting dirty and love having fun. When it rains, I never run to my car. I don’t care if my hair, clothes get soaked. I have been known to say on more than one occasion. I won’t melt, I’ll dry. I am the adult who starts all the childhood fun/shenanigans; water balloon and silly string fights, and on a few occasions whip cream fights. I am not afraid to skin my knee or get a bruise. Football or softball, I will dive to catch the ball or slide into base…if that is what I have to do. I love amusement parks, I ride roller coasters with both hands up, scream my head off, get soaked on all the water rides and look a mess at the end of the day....and I don't care. When taking a walk along the beach I can’t help myself, I run and jump waves as they crash on the shore. It is a temptation I can’t resist. Fair warning, I also jump and splash in the puddles of salt water made by the receding tide. If you are with me you are going to get wet. For the record, make-up and the beach don’t mix. I laugh at the women who come to the beach perfectly groomed with make-up applied. It’s the beach, why add the stress of looking perfect to what is meant to be fun?? Pull the hair up, apply sunscreen, put on the bathing suit, throw on shorts, grab a towel and go. No added steps needed. It has to be exhausting for girly girl women to keep the "perfect" look all day at the beach.

If given a choice between watching a chick flick or a Dirty Harry movie, Clint Eastwood will win every time. On television I don’t watch Dancing with the Stars, Brothers & Sisters, Desperate Housewives, Gilmore Girls ..my tastes run towards Cold Case, Southland, LOST, NCIS or the History Channel. I have never read a romance novel in my life. You will find me in the non-fiction section of the book store. Don’t ask me what wine should pair with what food, I don’t know. I always ask the waiter for their recommendation. I would rather have friends come over to BBQ and hang out, then go out to a fancy restaurant. Just something about the freedom to laugh loudly that makes for a wonderful dinner, conversation and company.

I can talk to anyone. I have the gift of gab and the Robinson wit. I have been known to hold conversations with complete strangers in elevators. If given enough time, I can make even the hardest of shells chuckle and smile. Hell with protocol, I can introduce a group of strangers and have them leave friends. I will make you laugh, but don’t misinterpret wit for lack of intelligence. I can hold my ground with anyone. I know it may not be very lady like, but I speak my mind and give my opinion when asked. Sometimes I won’t give the answer you want to hear, but it will always be my answer. Good or bad I will always tell you how I feel. Often times not at the most appropriate times or places. I can be honest to a fault. I will never be that “trophy” wife or girlfriend who just stands there and says nothing. I talk, I hold conversations. I don’t know how to be just pretty.....or quiet.

I may yearn to be that girly girl, the woman who exemplifies femininity. The woman who makes a man weak in the knees upon her arrival, who knows how to bite her tongue, control her silliness, be the perfect lady. No matter how hard I try or want to be, I am just not her. I don’t turn heads when I enter a room, but I can make men laugh while I am there and think when I leave. It’s okay, I can accept who I am. I may never be that girly girl, but I am one hell of a woman. I think for me, that may be enough:)


  1. Hi, D I just want to let you know that I did not need to read this to figure out that you are the person in this Blog.. I kinda gathered most of this from just a couple of brief meetings & chats with you.. I feel that you are a very unique person that I'm glad to call a friend. I just wish the world had more people of your good Character in it. So just keep on doing what you are doing and be the Happy person that you are and you will be just fine.. In closing I want to say again, Thank You For Being My New Friend!!!


  2. Thank you Earl...that is very sweet of you. I am proud and happy to call you my friend as well!

  3. I am just now finding time to read your blog. I totally disagree with you on some points. I have known you since high school, you may not have noticed but I have, men have always looked at you when you entered a room. There have been numerous times when I found myself jealous of all your admirers. I personally know several guys who would confirm you have left them "weak in the knees" on many occasions. You may not be Miss America, but D, you have a natural presence about you that attracts people to you. We all love you the way you are. Like Earl I am happy to call you my friend.